Loglines

...are impossible.

It's difficult to summarize a screenplay, novel, whatever without writing another novel -- but to summarize a full work in twenty-five words (or less. less. less than twenty-five words) is downright fucking* impossible.

What am I supposed to say about this without ruining the ending or what happens around page thirty? That's supposed to be a surprise, for God's sake (prime example: Stephanie Meyer, whose writing I do not approve of, takes 13 or so chapters (of painful prose and terrible character development") to reveal what we can read on the back of the fucking book: that Edward Cullen is a vampire.

Wait.

You know from the start that Twilight is about vampires. Your friend told you, or a book review. Wherever you heard about it. Hell, you might be reading it because it's a vampire novel.

That, and the WOW! scene fails. Bella isn't frightened that Edward is a fucking monster who could easily kill her and wants to and who also stalks her holy fuck what is wrong with this bitch.

[/Twilight rant])

Anyway, don't spoil one of the big surprises. For example, in my story, I wouldn't write this logline: Alice is lured into a world that serves as a permanent asylum, lured by its very writer, Lewis Carroll. (highlight for spoilers for the as-of-yet unfinished screenplay). That spoils it. Why should an interested person watch it now? They know what happens. They know the story and shit.

Anyway. Loglines fucking suck.

[/end writerly rant]

-Suki

*Yes, I swear. I also don't care if this makes me lose credibility. Grow up. We're not in fifth grade.